Return from home

I have returned from home day before yesterday night..on sunday 9 pm..I spent two days in kerala.
I have gone home on friday at 2 pm by a passenger train towards kannur.I used to go home by bus but this year, after joining PhD, I have been compelled to prefer train. The main reason is the cheap rate to get a ticket. It costs 24 rupees from coimbatore to parappanangadi and 10 rupees from parappanangadi to my home, but by bus it costs 85 rupees to my home.
I have reached the railway station at the correct time so I got the ticket and train at 2 pm. It was wonderful and joyful. I had had not anything on that morning, So, I brought water from college and bought a pepsiLays to have for lunch.
Train started only at 2.30 pm.It was late for half an hour. My mind was wandering through my past and future.I enjoyed the journey because I found many things to laugh in my past.
I have reached my home at 7.15 pm and I had dinner. I have not forgotten to call sajesh and neetha, because they have got fever and not feeling well on that day.
Saturday morning my grand father(mother's father) came to my home to discuss about the marriage plan of my third sister. They want my opinion about this matter but I was in a vicious circle. It is a serious one and I have to take a serious decision on this. I have a plan of sending her for graduation studies but my parents have another. The problem is that If I compell them for sending her for education , I should take care of her in future and her marriage also. If I agree with their plan now, they will take care of her marriage and everything. My situation is somewhat worse and I dont have any money source also. So I should follow their plan but they agreed me by telling that they married off her only with a condition of sending her for higher education.
I went to my two sisters houses and played with thier children. It is wonderful to play with them, their smile is unforgettable, their kiss never go from my cheek. When I went to my mothers house I met my uncle's daughter, she was 4 years old, she smiled to me and ran to her mother and told "I like this ikka most". Even when I am not giving any sweets to them, the child like me most because I play with them by telling jokes, make them to laugh and encourages them. I have given a dream to everyone. They have a right answer if I ask them "whts your ambition? or who will you become when you grow?"
Sunday I got money from my mother's sister to repay Moideen kuttys loan, who helped me to get a computer.
My father and three workers were busy with planting banana plants in our kitchen garden. We cultivate many of the vegitables and bananas in our land to use in our kitchen and few to sell. I have also planted many trees, bananas, coconut trees and tapioca in our land.But these times, I became a guest in my home, so they would not allow me to enter in to the field and I am also not getting time to do that.
I returned to coimbatore on suday night. It was too rush on the bus and I was in the queue for 1 hour in palakkad to get a bus to ukkadam. Monday morning I came to college with full of happiness, that I have completed my proposal work for JNMF but I became sad when I came to know that my guide was not present. This made me sad and dull, some other feelings also came to my mind. These things disturbed my free mind and I have been pushed to do nothing. The mess also closed and I knew that this will lose my money also. I have paid 40 rupees for dinner, If I had dinner from the mess from where I usually had food, it costs only 18 rupees. These things made me insensible. I made a call to my very close friend on that day, it was also ended up with the same feeling.

Finally I understood that Nobody and Nothing can make me Happy, but only me, I can only make me happy..

so I went to bed with this mantra...


Tuesday I came to college with pleasure.I enjoyed every step from my room to college.I felt that each and every matters of the world around me, blessing me and wishing me happiness and good morning..I have been welcomed in every place with a smile. I have been being welcomed "Hello Abdul kalam" by the gate man everyday ..it is a wonderful thing, I also call him "manmohan singh". The gate man is Amar singh, who has been calling me "Abdul kalam" and give a namesthey since my MSc first year(2004) and I am also calling him "manmohan singh" and same namasthe from the same time.

I feel It is a luck and pleasure to have been welcomed by calling a great man's name to me even if it is come from a lower side.

My guide is also not present today, she is in salem and my anna Inbakumar is going there to get the sign on the proposal. May 31 is the last date to the proposal but she returns only 2 june. I planned to send the proposal for JNMF scholarship without her signature with an excuse letter telling my guide is on a tour and return on next week and I want a week to submit the testimonial from guide. I dont know whether thye accept it or not, but I believe in God , and they are also human beings.

This page also turned from my life, with different feelings...

I understand the greatest pain in our life is the rejection
of our love by the person whom we love most. But my phylosophy is that
Forget and Forgive to enjoy each and every second of our life, everything happens for a reason and so expect unexpected things in your life.