Calm after a Storm

The feelings of the failure gave me mental tension and it was a bigg stress on my mind. It gave me a big head pain. I did not use any medicine for it, only hot strong tea and some yogasanas.
But the pain yesterday I felt was the gretest one, It did not end with the tea and yoga.I tried to control my thoughts and disturbance in mind by meditation, no, it should end up with resolving the problem, i should talk her and i should tell my version and what was my motives behind that sms. I tried but she did not pick it, I called to dheera to tell this, same she left this mater to us.It was my mistake, I used a very wrong word "educated fraud".
I continued to call her, at last, she picked the phone, and I told my feelings and I regret for that sms.Eventhough, the pain did not end.I tried to sleep, but i cant sleep with the pain. Oh, my god, It is the first time I vomited because of the pain. I rushed to the bathroom for vomiting and I called Santhana krishnan to help me, He came and poured his kindness over me. I am a lucky person to have verymuch close friends always with me. I vomited three times, after I felt little good. Then he took me to the room, because I was too tired that time. Then I started to meditate, I was in the state of meditation until 2 am, i felt somewhat better tha before. I tried to sleep, but the pain was disturbing somewhere else in the head. I dont know when I was got a sleep, but i know it was after my alrms bell, which was fixed at 6.30am, I got up nearly at 8.30am, karthik and kumar told me that , I was worrying yesterday and It is too bad to have feelings for a girl, they consider it as a female matter, according to them females are always try to cheat men and the man who feels about the ladies are too bad to them. But in my case, They also, females also the same as males with flesh and mind. We have to consider always the heart than their body and beauty. I consider so.

I am leaving to home today, my grand father has been hospitalised so I have to visit him. No other special things in my home, He has been in the hospital for the past two weeks, I did not gone to visit him becasue my presence in the home is disturbing one to my parents.If I go home I ask money, but this time I am going there with a swear that I never ask money from them.