The Greatest Failure in My Life

Yes, Truly I consider and give much importance to relationships than any other thing in the world, it is the bondage of hearts, specially an understanding between two different heart. Feelings are unavoidable one specially in this case, because feelings, which means the sensation of touching of hearts. So, we have to expect happiness and sadness on this case, these are the two states of the mind or heart.If we cannot feel the sweetness of other heart, we cannot say that these are in the intimate contact or these people are not intimate friends. These people are totally failure in keeping the relationship, am i correct?Why relationship are much important in life?will it give anything?
We are humanbeings with flesh and thinking ability. this thinking capacity of human act as the sixth sense of the man. Which can sense the thoughts of other people, its prominant if you are in the state of meditation.without this sensation we cannot live in the world. which gives happiness and everything. even if it is in intimate relationship such as in marriage, the intimacy that is the closeness of the relationship is much more importance than sex. Having Sex is a thing which gives pleasure to the mind, the level of the pleasure also depends on the state of mind.Which tells that the state of mind (feelings) is important than any other thing, which measures the level of the happiness and sadness even the taste of a food also. The state of the mind purely depends on the thought process of the man. The relationship, which determines the strenght of thoughts and then the feelings. If a person coming from purely loving group, he would have the same nature always. The thoughts and then the feelings are related to something or some other person, that state of relation is known as the RELATIONSHIP.If the thoughts and feelings are correlated with another person, then we call it as an INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP.So, we can say that if a prson can not maintain the relationship with his close counterparts, then the person is in utter failure.

Yes,today, which gave me the greatest failure in my life. Yes, I failed to keep a best relationship with my close heart. I lost the closeness because of my one sms to her.I just send an sms "nee oru padicha kalliyaanu, ninne orikkalum marakkan pattilla (You are a learned fraud, I cannot forget you in my life)", I just send this without any pre-planning and not to hurt her but just to make her curious to know what and why. The main reason was that I just wanted her call on my phone. But, She took it as a serious one and insulting one. I dont think nothing insulting between two close intimate friends. She was my very close friend and I used to share everything to her. I did not have any moment wothout her. I never thought, it would end with an sms. We have to be care when we deal with people specially the words we are using.
It is my mistake that I thought she would have understood me well.No, she did not understand me..have I understood her?I think No, if I would have understood her, I would have never used this type of playing. Then what a relationship is without having any feelings, such as sadness and happiness. Then what a relationship is with keeping formalities.I dont know...
Finally I learned from my life, people are different and they behave according to their situations. we cannot judge their behaviour even if we are in in close intimate relationship with them. I learned reading body language from books and from my life also. But I learned at the same time that we cannot predict the peoples mind from their body gestures, we can only average the things. It may be wrong or right.
I am in a fully confused state, do we want to keep a close relationship with others?why we fail to understand others feelings?
In my life I am lucky to have friends of true hearts, I am getting smiles and wishes from every side of life. I have experienced the life in a hut and in a palace. When people meet me, they come to me and sharing their feelings with me even if a new or a stranger, they come to me and share their feelings. The people I met in Delhi, Ajmer, Bangalore, chennai, coimbatore an kerala comes and sharing with me. All the people are sharing their sadness with me, I dont know what they are expecting from me. And I welcomed with smile in every place.
But, I failed in this relationship which I thought it will be with me until my death. I cannot think anything now, my head is paining much. It sarted to pain from yesterday night I got her sms to stop the relationship with her. It is getting worse as time passes. I dont know, who failed to understand the other.

Today pragatheesh and me took our samples for optical studies, which produced good result. The first research work yesterday gave me some burned marks on my hand. Some of the dropes fallen onmy hand over the golves and it burned. i got few wounds on my hand. After the Jumua prayer I came to the lab and drwan the graphs using origin, but my head forced to go room. after having a strong tea, I called to dheera to discuss my feelings but she left this matter to us. I went to bead but headache, I cannot sleep. evening after having the chapathies i went to city cake shop and had three strong tea.then I came to lab to write this blog...I cannot continue it...im leaving..its getting stronger....Now I like to cut my head from my body....I feel strong head ache..going to room now.